Mediation in San Francisco, Marin & our newest location in Contra Costa!

We are pleased to announce a third office location for Lawhon Law & Mediation, P.C.! Our main office (and mailing address) remains in San Francisco at Market and Powell. Our second office is in Marin County just off the 101 freeway in downtown San Rafael. Our third office is now in Contra Costa County in Lafayette and just a short walk from BART.

We are excited to be able to serve our East Bay mediation clients as well as our Marin and San Francisco clients and since our three mediators live in Marin, San Francisco and the East Bay, this works well for us too!

We schedule appointments for any of our three mediators for divorce mediation, premarital agreement mediation, postmarital agreement mediation, and consulting appointments for individual clients in all three of our offices so please be sure to let us know which office would be most convenient for you!

What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce?

I picked up this book, among others, at the AFCC Conference this week (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts where I was speaking on the topic of co-mediation) and am writing here to recommend this to children whose parents are going through a divorce, to parents who are concerned about their children as they go through a divorce, or to divorce mediators or other family law attorneys or therapists who would like to provide a helpful resource to their clients and their families.

"What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce?" by Kent Winchester & Roberta Beyer is a little over 100 pages in an easily handled 6"x6" book well-designed for children of reading age through at least early teenage years if not later and falls in the "Self-Help for Kids" category. 100 pages may sound like a lot but there is a lot of white space on the small pages and illustrations so it's a quick read for parents. The topics are simple and straightforward and the advice is direct and practical without being patronizing about the feelings that can arise for both kids and parents going through a divorce. Two of my favorite aspects of the book are the recommended books and other resources for kids at the end of every section and the suggestions for "words you might say" for addressing specific issues with parents or other adults as suggested throughout the book.

I wanted to read this book before recommending it (here on this blog and to our clients directly) so I naturally would also suggest that parents read it before recommending or giving it to their own children but hopefully parents will find lessons for themselves and also see how helpful this type of book can be for their children who are experiencing something so much differently than the parents during this time.

When there's not enough time in the day...

....something needs to give. Having not posted an article since December, it's safe to assume that posting blog articles has been one of the things I had to put aside in order to meet all my other obligations.

I realize I am far from alone in this dilemma; we all have too much to do and not enough hours in the day to get it all done. And good luck trying to have a balanced life when children, added work responsibilities and other demands eat up what's left of our time!

I feel a huge sense of responsibility for the cases I work on with my clients. I like to think that is one of the things that sets me apart from some other attorneys or mediators since I take my work (but not myself!) very seriously and want to give 100% to each and every client I come into contact with. And I want to provide information to others (via this blog, for example) who are not sure where to start whether they are planning to be married and want guidance with a mediated premarital agreement or whether they are trying to find a neutral mediator to help get them through the difficulty of a divorce or custody matter.

And although I'd like to post articles more frequently, I have to weigh what needs to be done and how much time I have in which to accomplish it. I generally decide that with the limited time I have when I'm not in mediations (with two in one day, there's not much left of me!), I need to use that time to get thoughtful and comprehensive agreements out to clients and complete their cases as promised.

Since the purpose I have in working as a full-time mediator is to help as many people as I can with the highest level of quality and professionalism, I have to resign myself to the fact that I just can't post as much as I'd like. I'd better get back to work now, but I will continue to post when possible!

Gilbert Guide-Resources for Seniors

The Gilbert Guide is an online resource which caters to seniors. http://www.gilbertguide.com/ provides information on finding long-term care, (assisted living, skilled nursing, hospice, adult day care and at-home care) in addition to information on all types of issues affecting seniors. These include legal issues affecting seniors, (family law, estate planning, probate, elder abuse, etc.) nutrition, real estate, medical issues, caregiving, technology, etc.

There are learning centers, expert columns, product and service recommendations and other interesting resources. As of last week, I am one of their experts, writing a column on Family Law & Mediation.

If you or someone you know has a need for information relating to seniors (health, lifestyle, legal, etc.) be sure to check it out!

Interested in creating your own legal blog?

I have been thinking about the fact that the time I am able to commit to updating my blog on a weekly basis is not what it used to be. It's not always easy to find the time or content that is interesting enough to post for all to read.

While I haven't yet decided on the direction this blog will take, I was interested to read a short article from fellow blogger Mark Herrmann in the National Law Journal that appeared in my Law.com Newswire this morning.

In his article, "Blogging Lessons Learned" Mark discusses the pleasures and pains of creating and maintaining a legal blog (a.k.a. "Blawg") in the form of four lessons learned and provides details with each lesson.

The first lesson: "blogging about substantive legal issues -- is hard".
The second lesson: "blogging is personally satisfying"

If you are interested in creating your own blawg, check out Mark's article.

Where did the year go??

This year has been crazy in a good way. Here are some highlights for the "Mediation & Law Office of Paula M. Lawhon":

1. I moved to a new office in my building early in the year to get two much-needed mediation/conference rooms in addition to my office, which also functions as a mediation room. This has made it so much easier to schedule mediations since I no longer have to sign up for the shared conference rooms in my building.

2. Early in the year, I also acknowledged my need for a full-time assistant and have been amazed at my own productivity since then.

3. Later in the year, I came to embrace my desire and ability to help people going through complex divorces and other family matters by keeping them out of court and in mediation where they can work through private financial and custody matters with less antagonism and no court involvement. This step meant fewer mediations in employment law, real estate, business, etc. in order to make room for the family law mediation referrals I received. As a former employment lawyer and civil litigation attorney, this was not what I expected. But my current practice as a family law attorney has also helped me to shift my focus into the family law arena. This has been a good shift for me.

4. Until this month, I have kept up with my weekly blog entries on mediation news and thoughts I've had about my own mediations and I also focused on writing a detailed article on settlement agreements for a legal magazine. I enjoy writing but I definitely don't enjoy the feeling I get when I haven't had the time to post a blog entry! Sometimes there's only so much of me to go around!

5. And, finally, I'd like to just say "Whoa!!!" to this end-of-year rush that's happening in what seems like all of my cases. Looks like I'm finishing up my Christmas shopping with everyone else who got bombarded with work obligations this month! I empathize with you!!

Happy Holidays to everyone! I wish everyone a peaceful new year!

Everyone Remain Calm Part II

In my last post, I wished out loud for a poster of the "Everyone Remain Calm" sign for my office, thinking it would help set the tone for the mediations I conduct here without being too serious. With the message as well as the Transamerica Pyramid in the background, the sign is perfect for my practice.

Lucky for me, my brother Daniel, a graphic designer, happened to read that post and is now sending me my own version of the sign, blown up to a small poster size to hang in my office. Thanks Daniel!

Everyone Remain Calm

This is the advertisement on my favorite classical music radio channel's website. Every morning when I get to work, I open the KDFC website (www.kdfc.com) to get that calming music streaming into my office all day. And every morning, when I see the "Everyone Remain Calm" sign, I think "That would be a great sign for the office."

I work to keep a calm environment in my mediation practice and my law practice so that rationality instead of emotions will prevail. I guess I'll have to figure out a way to blow this up to poster size and frame it for each of my conference rooms.

Mediator Philosophies On Being "Green"

I've been tagged by fellow mediator and blogger Vickie Pynchon (Negotiation Law blog) to post my thoughts on being environmentally conscious - or "green" - as a mediator. This tag started with another fellow mediator Dina Lynch's Mediation Mensch blog.

If you're like many people, you may be wondering what mediation has to do with being green. My answer is that it has everything to do with being green, provided that being "green" means more than just recycling and striving to eat locally and organically produced foods. Although I do those things, they are quite unrelated to my practice and my calling as a mediator.

Instead, I have an idea of what it means to be green in the broader scheme of things and it is succinctly set forth in the Ten Indian Commandments. This framed list sits in my office where I can see it every day and be reminded of my own personal philosophies with respect to the people around me, my communities, myself and the earth. The Commandments are less related to the very small amount of Native ancestry I have and more related to how I live my life and what I have chosen to do as a profession. I hope you find these to be helpful reminders in your own lives:

The Ten Indian Commandments
1. Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect
2. Remain close to the Great Spirit
3. Show great respect for your fellow beings
4. Work together for the benefit of all mankind
5. Give assistance and kindness wherever needed
6. Do what you know to be right
7. Look after the wellbeing of mind and body
8. Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good
9. Be truthful and honest at all times
10.Take full responsibility for your actions

"Mini me" - Fun with Yahoo! Avatars

This morning I am having fun creating a cartoon version of myself using Yahoo! Avatars. Sometimes we need a bit of comic relief. Try it yourself!

Celebrating 1,000 Hits

When I first started this blog in August 2006, I didn't have a way to track the number of "hits" to see if anyone was actually reading my articles. And it was clear that looking at the number of "Profile Views" doesn't quite do the trick since return readers generally have no reason to check out my profile when they're checking back for new articles. But I wanted a way of knowing that the information I was posting was actually reaching people.

So I saw a discreet site meter on someone else's website, followed the link and created my own site meter for this blog. I also ensured that my own visits would be ignored since I view the blog often to make changes or post new articles but certainly don't want those counted. But because the site meter is fairly small and located at the very bottom of my blog, I don't always see it. And that is why I didn't realize I'd passed the 1,000 mark! (1,122 as of this moment). Wow. It's great to know that the information I am providing is reaching people, some of whom call or write, but others don't..... and yet, I still know that you're out there and taking the time to read what I've taken the time to write - for you. Happy 1,000 to SFMediation.com!!

Five Things You Don't Know About Me

It looks like I've been "tagged" by fellow mediation blogger Vickie Pynchon to disclose something personal about myself in her "Five Things You Don't Know About Me" blog tag posting.

First, I am the middle child (and only daughter) between two brothers evenly spaced at 3 years younger and 3 years older than I am. There's something about this dynamic about being the middle child and wanting to foster harmonious relations; that may be one explanation for my gravitation toward mediation.

Second, I was the opinion editor of the newspaper produced by the community college I attended (Cypress College) prior to matriculating to UC Irvine. I had a column titled "Paula Logic" which was a forum for me to write about politics, life and whatever else was interesting to me, kind of like this blog!

Third, I was a private investigator for several years before and during law school. The field of law was a creative way for me to combine writing with the work I enjoyed as an investigator. Luckily for me, private investigation work paid better than many of my law school classmates' bartending jobs or free clerking positions.

Fourth, I'm not a workaholic by any means, but if I won the lottery, I would still work because I love what I do. But I would probably only work a couple days a week. Also, I would have to play the lottery for this scenario to work - but I don't.

Fifth, one of the great things about living in a city like San Francisco is that we do not rely on our cars as much as we would if we lived in the suburbs. Although I have a car and love driving, I love the freedom of not being tied to my car. So I walk and take BART, and even MUNI trains on occasion and, yes, I even wear tennis shoes with my suits and break out my high heels once I'm where I need to be.

I will update this posting when I think of some other bloggers to tag now!

Sharing the Holidays

My family celebrates Christmas and I am fortunate enough to be able to divide my holiday celebrations with the loving family of my spouse as well as with my own family (also loving).

We are not the only couple to be dividing the holidays like this and it works quite well, if not perfectly, for us and for our families. Accommodations are made, big celebration dinners are delayed a few days, other events are shifted around, and Christmas presents are opened starting Christmas Eve, continuing Christmas Day and several days thereafter for each celebration.

Other families celebrate their Christmas differently, or celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and other religious or non-religious holidays. Every family is different, but the goal is the same: For everyone to be together, to enjoy the time we have with each other and to do things that make our loved ones happy.

Wishing you and your family happy holidays and peace in your families, in your lives and on earth.

Another Thank you to Ramani at Hackosphere

Ramani at Hackosphere has helped me get the "Read More" function to work properly on this blog. This way, readers can get a snippet of information - the "summary" and can decide whether to click the "Read More" link ...
...to read the rest of the article. Since some of my posts include a lot of information, this is a great new tool for me and my readers! Readers can click on "Summary Only" to get back to just the snippet. Thanks again Ramani!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I am taking a few days off to enjoy and feed my family. I hope you enjoy this time off as well to enjoy your friends and family and hopefully some good pumpkin pie! Bon appetit!

Beyond "San Francisco" Mediation...

Even though I live and work in (and love) San Francisco, I have intended my posts to be useful to individuals in any city or state. But I have been concerned that I might be limiting my readership to just locals, or even just Californians, by calling this "San Francisco Mediation."

I was recently introduced over the Internet to Family Law attorney Pieter M. Droppert, who practices in New Jersey and who publishes a weblog called New Jersey Family And Divorce Law Blog. Pieter posted a link on his weblog to some of my posts which he believed might be helpful to readers of his readers - in New Jersey or wherever else they may live.

I have now been reading his blog, as well as the blogs of some fellow mediators who publish blogs directed towards mediators (see my Mediation links on the side panel- they're the ones I read!), and I am happy to report that all of these blogs are relevant to my mediation and law practices regardless of the business addresses of the weblog writers. I am now getting the sense that my own weblog may have some relevance to others well outside of the San Francisco Bay Area based on the links back to my weblog. My point is to help get useful information out - and it seems to be working...

The Conflict Resolution Day Tree

Today is Conflict Resolution Day. According to the Association for Conflict Resolution's (ACR) website, ACR created Conflict Resolution Day in 2005 "in order to increase public awareness about conflict resolution and its many benefits. ACR coordinated its efforts with other conflict resolution organizations and reached out to local, state and international groups to build interest in holding local celebrations in conjunction with Conflict Resolution Day. Events were held in Canada, Portugal, and 22 U.S. states. Also in the United States, a number of counties, cities and states adopted proclamations designating day- or week-long conflict resolution celebrations."

"In March 2006, ACR’s Board of Directors adopted a resolution designating the third Thursday in October as Conflict Resolution Day. Going forward, Conflict Resolution Day will always be held on the third Thursday of October. This year the event will be on October 19, 2006. To read the resolution, click here."

For mediators or members of the public who are interested in adding their names in support of conflict resolution, you can follow this link to http://www.concernedmediators.org/.

Technology "Hacks"

I would like to extend a big Thank You to Ramani, who hosts Hackosphere, for helping me create the three-column format of this weblog. I had too many links and information crawling down just one side of the former two-column blog and asked for his help in creating the current format. Understanding that hacking CSS codes for Beta Blogger is not my forte, Ramani led me through the steps with great success!

Also a thank you to both Hackosphere and Hoctro's Place for continuing to come up with creative improvements for beta blogs with instructions that even non-techies can handle! These additions include the subject tabs at the top of my blog.

Thank you both!

World Directory of Alternative Dispute Resolution Blogs

I received a warm welcome to the World Directory of Alternative Dispute Resolution Blogs this week in a post from Diane Levin, the creator of the Directory, which tracks alternative dispute resolution weblogs around the globe, as well as the ADR weblog MediationNewsOnline.com.

Diane's post is titled: "East coast, west coast: Two new blogs explore conflict resolution." I am happy to be representing the West Coast with San Francisco Mediation, and to have East Coast representation from the New York Center for Interpersonal Development's Blog Spot. (My two favorite cities!!)

I have since received additional welcomes from mediators around the country, including Vickie Pynchon of Settle It Now Dispute Resolution Services in Southern California and Dina Lynch of http://mediationmensch.blogspot.com/ in Boston, Massachusetts. Thank you to everyone!

It's great to be part of a community which takes pride in helping to reduce conflict in society while also helping other members of the ADR community to become better at what we do while spreading the news about ADR!!

Outstanding Volunteer Attorney Award

This is a picture of me with California Chief Justice Ronald George (on the right) and San Francisco Superior Court Presiding Judge Robert Dondero (on the left), after I was presented with an Outstanding Volunteer Attorney Award (which looks nicer than that orange envelope in which it was presented).

Many attorneys received awards at the San Francisco Bar Association ceremony earlier this year. This supports my theory that the legal profession is a helping profession and that, like so many other noble professions, too often the bad ones taint the reputations of the rest of us. I just want the public to know there are so many of us who are giving back to our communities. The Volunteer Legal Services Program of the San Francisco Bar Association is just one of the ways.